10 posts tagged “sacramento guy”

Or back to work at least.  Man...let me tell you, after taking a week and a half vacation, work blows.  Even more than normal.  The days have just been dragging by.  I think the only way I'm getting through this trying time is that I'm really looking forward to moving this weekend.  Even if I'm (as expected) not done packing yet.

I've been trying to catch up on everyone's posts.  But there are so many!  It's not so bad to catch up on a day or two, but miss a week of posts, and it's like things are completely different with people. 

So the trip was amazing.  I had such a fun time.  My only complaint is that I wish the Argentinian was there.  And that the drinks were free.  Cause those sure add up (hello almost $400 bill).  We went to Grand Cayman, Honduras, Belize, and Mexico.  Sacramento Guy was on the trip, and for the most part things were fine, except for the fight we got on one night.  And that he occassionally got on my nerves.  But overall things were ok between us.  I got a tan, just like I hoped.  So that makes me happy.  I was worried since I (and everyone else who went in our group practically) got pretty burned on our first day at sea that I'd have to stay bathed in sunblock to prevent further discomfort.  But luckily a day or two later I was fine and ready to soak up some more sun.  The ship had such amazing food.  I gained like 5 pounds, at least.  But it was worth it.  So delicious.  I wish I had bought the cookbook they had of the meals they served.  I might try to find out from my friend if there is a way to order one off of the ship. 

As much fun as I had on the trip, I was definitely ready to get home at the end.  I couldn't want to see the Argentinian.  Aside from the break up, we've never been apart for that long.  So we were both so happy to see each other again.  I couldn't wait to get my arms around him.

So my v-day this year was uneventful.  I got a tan, ate too much, and watched LOST.  So romantic.  It's the first Valentine's day in a while that I didn't have a boyfriend or some sort of plans.  But, I was mostly ok with that.  Even if at times I did get a little sad, and look through pictures of Ex and I.  I'm retarded.  What can I say.  He sent me a text yesterday, wishing me a happy valentine's day (and it was actually to me, since it was personalized with my name), and something to the effect that I am pretty or something.  Part of me kept hoping maybe he'd make some grand gesture or something as a sign.  But he didn't.  Maybe that's my sign.  I just can't get him completely out of my head lately.  I also ended up having a dream about him last night that we were back together.  And everything was all happy.  So, still in a bit of a funk today.

Sacramento Guy arrives tonight.  I was feeling better yesterday, but then after last night, and the dream, and all of that, I'm feeling a bit more hesitant about it all.  I talked to one of my friends, and I think she's right in that part of it is that I may just not be ready to move on, and things feel like they are moving so quickly.  I think he's beginning to pick up on my mood.  But, if I have to, I'll just tell him that I do like him, but that I'm just having some anxiety about things moving so quickly towards being a full blown relationship.  Cause as much as I thought I was, I don't think I'm ready for that.  If I was, text messages from my ex, and talking to his mother wouldn't put me in such a funk.

Life can be pretty lame sometimes, and I think I'm in one of those times right now.

So that second first date, I just cancelled it.  I just know that I'm rather interested in Sacramento Guy, and I know that nothing will come out of this date, and so I can't really go on it with a clear conscience.  As much as I like a free meal, I don't know if it's right to go through with a date you know will not be someone you would ever date.  Is it really fair to these guys that I would go out with them, but upon getting in my car or getting home, I call up Sacramento Guy and talk to him for a couple hours?  I don't think it is.  I know that Sacramento Guy and I don't necessarily have any exclusive-ness to our "relationship" (for lack of a better word), but, I don't think he's really going out looking for girls, or going on dates.  With how much time we spend in contact with each other there would hardly be any time for it.  

He just said that if I ended up moving up there that he might just stay up there for school as opposed to coming down here for it.  That makes me smile.  

So, I went on my first for sure official date in over a year and a half tonight.  Oddly enough, at first the guy suggested going to where Ex and I had gone on our first date.  I quickly made up the excuse that it wasn't really that close to him, and maybe we should meet up somewhere more centrally located.  So we went to this little Mexican place downtown, which was good.  Nothing fancy at all.  I had a lot of fun with the guy.  But...I feel like he's more of the type of guy I could be friends with than date.  He's cute enough and we laughed and got along fine.  But, I just don't feel any sort of chemistry or desire for him.  If anything, it made me feel like I liked Sacramento Guy (what I've decided to call him) that much more.  Cause with him, the chemistry is DEFINITELY there.  No doubt about it.  With this guy, it's like the thought of kissing him didn't even really enter my mind.  More like I was hoping he wouldn't try to kiss me just cause I didn't want it to seem awkward.  I got home and ended up getting a phone call from Sacramento Guy minutes after walking in the door, and have basically been talking to him for about 3 hours or so.  

Well, he's coming down to visit me.  Feb. 15th - 18th.  So we'll have three days together.  I'm really looking forward to it.  I like him.  He likes me.  It's even been verbalized.  I'm really happy with how things are going.  But the distance really is something that worries me.  Long distance is so hard.  And not something I'm 100% sure I'm good at.  Not that we're really in a relationship at the moment, but it appears to be heading in that direction.  I mean, he's coming down to see me.  That's a pretty big deal.  We talk every day.  Emails, text, actual calls.  I feel like it would be doable, but that I'd need an end point.  That I couldn't just do it indefinitely.  Cause, you know, seeing the person, and being around them, is such a big thing to me.  Being able to cuddle up with them.  Lay in bed, watching a movie.  Not even just like, the intimate physical part of a relationship.  Just the being around them physically.  Being able to hug them, stuff like that.  So I still have these kinds of concerns, cause I know it will make things harder, should they progress to the next step.

This post will probably be a bunch of randoms.

I don't feel like going into a big long post at the moment.  But I had a really great weekend up here in Sacramento (I'm still here until this evening).  I had so much fun with my friends, and an even better time getting to hang out with Love. Except now it kind of sucks cause we do get along in person, and it's not all just good cause we have emails and text messages that are fun.  We have fun in real life.  So it sucks to kind of leave that.  I also had a really good time seeing my friends up here.  It just kind of makes me miss living up here.  Cause even though I've made some friends down in San Diego, it isn't the same kind of friends that I have up here in Sacramento.  Like these are friends that I, hopefully, will have for a really long time, rest of my life type of thing.  Friends that when Ex and I broke up, they would call and check up on me.  Talk to me for hours.  Just make sure I was ok, and let me know how much they cared about me.  Friends that I let myself cry to.  So, it's every once and a while that it makes me want to live here again, cause I just kind of miss that occasionally.  Not that I don't have good friends in San Diego, but it's just...different.  Anyway, that was a long aside.  I'm going to go see what the plan is for the rest of the day.

ok, so love and i are emailing a lot, and so we have really random conversations sometimes about stuff one of us will ask the other.  he asked me if i had any other secret things i'm good at besides tap dancing.  (well not that i'm good at it, but i told him i had taken classes in the past).  

So last night was pretty fun.  I was worried that I'd end up feeling sad or whatever and wishing I was spending New Year's Eve with Ex.  But you know what is a good way to counteract that?  Drinking.  Large amounts especially.